bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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