I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
