i permit you to call me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
