Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
