Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
