she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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