There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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