i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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