she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
