; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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