your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
