She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize