here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
