Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
