Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
