I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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