Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
