The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
