VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
