this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
