How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
