Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
