So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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