remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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