I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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