thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
