No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
