rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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