can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
