I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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