i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
