hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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