I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just pee around me
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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