I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
