Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
