So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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