im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
