Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You work out of a Hotel?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize