You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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