You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
