Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
