Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She bit a glass in half.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
