so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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