I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm like, not good at living.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
