She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
