Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
