I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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