I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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