do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
