Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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