At least make sure they are 18
Why
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
