just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Girls should come with a carfax report
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
