i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
