YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
