haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize