Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
handjob tips. give me some.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
