it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
