Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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