Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
