I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
