Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize