You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
